I haven't updated in a long time. Mostly because I'm having such a hard time assimilating this diagnosis. Let me tell you this - ALS sucks. It's hard to wrap my head around this one. I spent over a year and a half searching searching for an answer to my symptoms. My friends tried. Some even volunteered to help me get to foreign soil where answers might be more accessible. But I always thought, wow, at the end of this, there is going to be an answer and I'm going to be able to heal. So there was hope. I would dream at night about walking, then running...I would walk downstairs and call out to whomever was in my dream that night, "hey, look what I'm doing!" I would wake up certain that walking was coming soon. And then, boom, this awful awful diagnosis. I can't believe it's been three months. One of the symptoms I read about ALS was (1) Inappropriate Crying...what the fuck! Yes, I'm crying a lot. A LOT. But who are these people that can tell me it's inappropriate to cry when I see my horse for the first time in weeks. Or see friends I haven't seen for awhile. Or when I think about never being able to ride in the hills with my saddle sisters (and brother- that's you Paul!). Or drive my car. Or walk across a stage and grab a microphone. As you can imagine, I could write what I miss for ages. Like being able to turn over in bed, or sit up by myself. Or SPEAK CLEARLY!
On the other hand, I have an amazing network of friends who have really really come through. With visits. And meals. Donations. And plain old love and support. I am filled with love and gratitude. To my long distance friends I send hugs and love. I'm sorry I don't communicate often enough. It's so hard to talk lately. To my (and Smokey's) barn family - you are most likely sick of me saying thank you, but get used to it. I love you so much. To my pals and neighbors, oh my god, thank you for showing up.
I'm working on a script that I wrote a few years back. I've asked Richard Hochberg to help me. He's hysterical AND a good editor. Which I need because the script was about 75 pages too long! A Limited Series perhaps!
I keep threatening to write my book, Cher and Cher Alike about all my adventures as a Cher impersonator, and maybe with Mim Eichler's help, I will.
I will post again soon.
Hey guys - please put in some photos. I don't have to be in them. You and your horse, kid, lover, dinner...I don't care.
Much love,
lissa